She appeared overly excited to see me. I guess, after all, it had been at least four months since my eyes had the opportunity to look at her beautiful face. Anyways, I did my common dialogue of “life-updates.” You know the conversation for yourself, mine goes along the lines of expressing my excitement for graduating college, my fear for finding a job, and my ignorance of both. Then, I quickly throw into the mix of the convo my recent travels — this time it was Jamaica.
Yes, I could have talked longer but my utter non-enjoyment of my internal voice was given me a headache. You see, I would rather hear about the lives of others: what is new with their dreams, hopes, and aspirations. So, I quickly asked her, “How is life and work?” She answered rather quickly with the newest things that rushed to her head as she searched her mind for all of the personal events in her life over the last half-year.
I wasn’t listening anyways. My focus was on her eyes. I could tell some things had not changed. Namely, she still had a residual, deep lingering aspect of discontent. I lightly brought it up. Eventually, I enlightened the struggle of her current relationship.
To put it lightly, her boyfriend – my friend – is still an absolute dick. Worse, he does not deny this and she ends up staying with him anyway. This, of course, is also the reason I have a supportive stance to this great girl. She is mirror reflection of me in a scary amount of ways. Holding on to love & caring just a little to much on someone that will likely never feel the same. Despite all of our good intents on doing otherwise.
I abruptly dive into my own past… making me happy that I had undergone the path to walkaway from the girl I so dearly love even if the heartache is still present. It does get easier over time – a long, slow, pathetic amount of time.
Anyways, I snap back into the conversation. I recognize the moment. I am something important to her despite my elongated absence. Maybe, just maybe, I need to change a little more of who I am. Stop running from what is so hard to do…
I continue to listen with no need to share. I can tell, at least at this moment, she just needs someone to hear her story about a boy that does not care.
Then, at then end, I will simply say “until next time, my beautiful friend”