I was not good enough for you. I was not worth your time. Interestingly, you called last week on Wednesday evening with no response from me. At least no response from me so far. Why can’t I let this be? To pretend that I do not care. To prevent the inevitable pain that will transpire inside myself. I want to set aside my cell phone along with the feelings to provide a way for myself to grow into something that is better than where my emotions currently reside.
Of course, my heart still sees your beautiful eyes and retains memories that place me in the best fantasy world. A world I desperately want to call home. In reality, I am unable to stop loving you. Yet, I need this love to be void of any real connection and solely in my heart. When did I become so pathetic? Weak?
A flood of anger, tears, sadness, and betrayal fill the veins of my body. It is like riding a roller coaster that has the ultimate fun highs and the valleys of the lowest lows. I am broken. I am hurt. I am torn to pieces.